Relationships: Weathering Storms

Dating, Find True Love, Relationships, Online Dating, Divorce

Even the strongest of couples face challenges in the storms of life. When the world has gone crazy all around us due to national division, job losses, Coronavirus, economic strife... kids in distress, addictions resurfacing, you name it... marriages have been hit harder than ever. How do you keep it together and stay afloat amidst these storms? 

RELATIONSHIPS: WEATHERING STORMS

Winona 00:00:20 Welcome back. What we're going to talk about is how do you weather a storm in your relationship when everything is falling apart around you?

Rob 00:00:31 Ooh. So you're talking about the relationship falling apart or the world crumbling around and the only stable thing left is potentially you and your, and your relationship. Yeah. Wow. You know, external issues is typically the thing that tears people apart. I know that's I know that's really general say. Yeah, but everything is really external to the two of you. If it's finances, that's external, going through financial struggles, that's external, but it affects your relationship for going through struggles at the job. You bring that stress home and it affects your relationship. What about family. Even if it's internal family, like your own children. Yeah. That can bring a stress that affects the nucleus, the spousal unit. And then of course, there's affairs that is external. But that influence, even if it's not a consummated affair, if it's just the threat of one, you can bring insecurities into the relationship that can start to create a rift.

Winona 00:01:39 And what I'm trying to say, and basically everything you said is great. Also, know what you do though? What are some of the key things that, what do you need to do as a husband and wife? When you got the storm? Like I said, and you are, you're both together in this, but then you got, like I said, all that stuff, like you said, going, it's all around you. What do you do?

Rob 00:02:01 One word, one word. What's one word? Security. Okay. And I say that because the one thing that your spouse needs when there's, when you're in the eye of the storm and there seems to be no way through the hurricane, the one thing that your spouse needs, whether you're the husband or the wife, they need to know that the relationship is secure. You need to know, each other needs to know that you each got each other's back,

Winona 00:02:26 But also you need to make sure that you are grounded.

Rob 00:02:29 Oh yes, absolutely. Yeah. And that's what we call a plumb line. You've got this, this focus on our Father. That even if things are going crazy out there, one, I can have faith in Him to lead us through. And I have faith in our relationship to cling onto Him that one stable rock as everything around you turns to dust and sand. If the two of you are standing on that rock, you can find that security, but that's

Winona 00:03:00 At the end of the day, that is what you need. Because once you have your, you are grounded in with God and the three-stranded cord, you got God. And then you have your husband and then you have your wife and with Him, your all you intertwined. So storms are going to come and it's, if you're not secure, like you say, it is going to shake your relationship and you don't want that to happen, right. If you're not secure.

Rob 00:03:26 So what happens if you have that rock, you have that stable, that steadiness, that assuredness you feel secure, but your spouse is on shaky ground. How does that affect the relationship when you're in the storm?

Winona 00:03:41 Uh, you gotta lift them up and vice versa. He's glad to lift her up and get the focus back. Focus back on God. It's your word together. Start doing stuff to gather at that point, because go back to the way it was when you first met, go back to the way your relationship first started. I mean, go back to put God back in the center of it because there is going to be a storm that's going to come. So you got to know when that time comes and a storm comes that you are able to hold on to each other and hold on to God.

Rob 00:04:19 Now, I'm gonna put on my preacher's cap here just for a moment. And I'm gonna erase a little bit about what you just said. I am because it's not enough to keep God at the center. It's not enough to keep God in your relationship. It's not? What you need to do is make God Lord over your relationship.

Winona 00:04:37 Okay

Rob 00:04:38 And the reason I say that is because people can say all day long. Well, I go to church on Sunday. So God's in our relationship. My wife and I, we read the Bible together at least twice a month. And God's in our relationship. But I'm when it comes down to making a decision reacting to the storms of life, what does God tell you to do? If you made him Lord over your life, you're going to look to Him for those answers. When He's going to tell you to be still otherwise, sometimes I'll tell you to be still and wait. I will reveal to you what you're supposed to do. Yes. Sometimes He'll come and suggest something that I wasn't the chosen that, but okay. And sometimes that answer doesn't come verbally. It comes in opportunity. You know, I I'm about to, I'm about to lose my job and I don't know what to do, Lord God, what am I going to do? Rob 00:05:28 And unbeknownst to you, an opportunity comes that both elevates your salary, elevates your career and actually lets you work closer to home. Wow. I'm glad I waited instead of just reacting. Yeah, there are, there are things that you can do to put your trust in what God has for you and where things go off the rails as a standard step of things falling apart. Let's say in that same scenario, the man is facing troubles at work. And instead of asking God, what should I do? He tries to escape. He tries to escape those troubles by going home to his wife. And then he explains to her, um, there's something going down at work. I don't, I don't know what I'm going to do. She has a couple of choices. She could say, honey, let's pray together. Things are going to work out.

Rob 00:06:20 Or she could badger him about having to go work for that company. Anyway, whenever she starts doing that, that second one, badgering him. Instead of bringing him in close to her heart and bringing their hearts closer in line with His spirit, that is a, an opportunity for unity and to grow closer together. Yes it is. But if she starts the other way questioning, why had to go that way, questioning why he had to go and work there, that's in the past, there really isn't anything that he can do about it. And all of a sudden that becomes something else that he needs to escape from. Winona 00:06:57 Okay. But at the end of the day. Isn't that grace marriage? Yeah.

Rob 00:07:03 If she is badgering him about a past decision, that is moving away from grace. Okay. And we're supposed to love each other with the heart and spirit of grace. Yes. But if she starts in on him, not only does he have this battle at work, now he has his battle at home also. And as he seeks some sort of relief from these battles, he might find, or at least try to find that relief in the bottle. And then another problem creeps into the family. Or he might find that relief in the arms of another woman, someone who provides some affirmation. Yes. And then all of a sudden he feels a connection with her where even if you went to his wife first and I'm not giving him a pass on this, if he was allowing God to be Lord over his marriage, he would not astray to something else for that validation. Exactly. So they're both in the wrong here, but they have an opportunity to bond together, stand together, grow closer together and work through. This is that teamwork it’s that teamwork that really makes a relationship last a lifetime.

Winona 00:08:15 Yeah. That's that's it. I said exactly. So honey, why don't you close us out?

Rob 00:08:20 Well, the storms of life will forever rage around us. There is no escaping it. It's part of life. Anytime you think you're getting into a relationship for eternal marital bliss, you're marrying for the wrong reasons, you find someone and you bond with that person because they're going to stand with you through all those trials and tribulations. Not because you're going to be without trials and tribulations, you bind with them because they will stand with you through it all, no matter what. If you can find that, you have found real love and that turns into lifelong love.