Episode Transcript (beta)
Dating, Find True Love, Relationships, Online Dating, Divorce
Have you ever experienced the loss of a relationship you once thought was thriving? Ever wonder what went wrong and how to keep that from happening again? This episode on Reconnecting with your Love sheds some new light on this topic. If you're single, use these insights to reconnect with an old flame. If you're married, rekindle the love with your spouse today! And if you're dating or engaged, make a plan now to enjoy Lifelong Love.
Winona 00:00:11 Hello. We are the promise of love bringing to you the love effect,
Rob 00:00:17 A podcast that brings you real insight and real stories about real relationships. Welcome back. Have you ever looked back at a relationship that seemed great and wonder why it fell apart? Have you ever wondered if there's something, if there's anything that you could have done to keep it healthy? Well today, well, Winona and I are going to talk about reconnecting.
Winona 00:00:42 Oh yeah, definitely. This is a must. This is a must podcasts.
Rob 00:00:48 So when you talk about reconnecting, are you talking about reconnecting with someone you fell out of relationship with, or are you talking about reconnecting within the relationship that you currently have ? Winona 00:01:02 In a relationship that you currently have.
Rob 00:01:04 Okay, so what's the importance of reconnecting. Why, why even have this as a topic?
Winona 00:01:12 Because if you don't reconnect, it's like one person is going one way and one person is going the other way. When you have that time to get together and reconnect with each other, is that time that you're able to get your souls back in line with that.
Rob 00:01:30 So what are some things that people can do to reconnect with each other when they're in relationship?
Winona 00:01:36 Um, they can date they date, even, even after getting married, you never stop dating each other because that's, what's going to keep your relationship fresh. You have a chance to what I mean by date each other, take each other on a romantic walk, have a chance to have the one-on-one time where you're even doing Bible study together. That way you just keep your focus on each other, but keep you focused definitely on God keeping him in the center of your marriage. Why do you think it is important to stay reconnected to each other?
Rob 00:02:15 So here's the thing it's fairly common for at the beginning of the relationship, you are so excited about each other. Why are you so excited about each other? Because it's new and because you're constantly discovering new things about each other. Now the person that you're dating is a mystery and unpacking that mystery is exciting. I mean, who doesn't like a good mystery exactly until, but know, after some time there's no more mystery, there's you think, you know, all there is about that person. You can anticipate how they're going to react. You can anticipate what they're going to say, you know them so well that it stops being somewhat exciting and becomes mundane. Exactly. And in that you start to feel like, ah, I really want something more, but here's the problem. You have everything that you wanted. It's just that, you know, so well, what happens when the two of you surround yourself with something new, you stop being able to anticipate what the other person's going to do or say, you go on it.
Rob 00:03:35 And this is just a silly example. Okay. You go on an African Safari and you see a giraffe in prison for the first time. You know, you just don't know how your spouse is going to react to that. Or you go to a play that's in town, uh, an off-Broadway musical that comes in town. You go to the theater and wow. You both really enjoyed it in ways that you had not anticipated doing something new that you had not done before brings an element of newness and element of discovery that you would not have. If you just keep going back to the same restaurant and watching the same television shows and walking the same walking trail,
Winona 00:04:24 That's it exactly. That's why I said, that's why you need to reconnect because that way you can have that chance to have that first time doing an African Safari together or that time to have to watch a new movie, not the same old movie, you know, and just having a chance to reconnect. It is so important because if you don't, what happens in your relationship, it does. It gets stale. And what happens when there is stale bread? Mm.
Rob 00:04:55 Sometimes that bread gets set aside for some new bread. Exactly. And that new bread is exciting. You know, why, why? Because it's mysterious. It's not because it's better. In fact, if that affair let's call it what it is, if that affair is allowed to progress, then over time, you actually might find that know what... My, my core relationship, my marriage was really so much better. I was just lured away from something that was shiny and new and mysterious. Yeah. But there's substance in the love that you have grown. That's the, that's the love worth holding on to, so what about the other way around? What if you're listening to this and you realize, Oh my goodness. That's why, that's why we fell apart. We had this great love and we just got into this rut and we didn't do anything to get out of that rut.
Rob 00:05:55 And we ended up falling apart with this revelation. Would it be wise to go back to that person and say, yeah, let's say you didn't split on bad terms. You just fell apart. Okay. Would it be wise to go back to that previous person say, I really want to give this another shot because I've learned a lot since we've been apart. No, I'm not saying if you're in a relationship, I'm saying if you're single right now and you realize we didn't maintain the relationship, you're not currently in a relationship, the other person is not currently in a relationship. Would it be okay to go back to that relationship with this new revelation?
Winona 00:06:40 I mean, it's, it would probably be okay to talk to that person about, you know, especially now, if you, if you saying that both of you are still single, nobody's in a relationship. Um, and, and especially if you all are still somewhat on good terms, be okay to talk to them and just say, you know, Hey, maybe our relationship didn't work because of, I don't know, X, Y, Z. You never know.
Rob 00:07:04 I wouldn't have to say that in the event that you try to do that someone needs to go back, they need to take full responsibility. Yes, they do. They can't go back and say, well, we fell apart because you wouldn't date me.
Winona 00:07:17 No. I mean, yeah, they don't go back. So in other words, don't go back pointing fingers, go back with what you said, go back with. I realized what I learned. I realized. Yeah.
Rob 00:07:29 And I really love you enough to keep, to, to, to apply what I've learned to, to do it right this time. Exactly. And honor the love that we have, I think we're worth fighting for. And you say, I think this goes back to a previous episode that we did and that if you're with someone who's not willing to fight through the tough times, they probably were not the right person for you anyway. Yeah. So even going back in a situation like this, it might only be confirmation that you were not meant to be with that person. This is true. Or it could be a way to rekindle something that was never truly gone. So interesting topic. Very interesting. Oh my goodness. So here's the thing, oftentimes is not that the couple grew apart is not that growth apart that tore them apart is that they grew together and they grow so close in familiarity takes over.
Rob 00:08:34 There seems to be nothing more to discover. And that magical feeling disappears with the mystery. Yeah. It doesn't have to be this way. Take the time to escape from the mundane with your mate. When everything around you becomes new, even for just a day or two. Oh yeah. You can each other in a new and exciting way as well. So take vacations, even if it's just a road trip day trip weekend getaway, take a vacation. Yeah. Just go up there and spend some time together, away from everything else that pulls you down. Yeah. And watch your relationship flourish, but you gotta be sure to leave those daily stressors behind. Oh yeah. Don't pack them in the car with you when you go.
Winona 00:09:25 Yeah.
Rob 00:09:29 Hey, thanks for tuning into the love effect. Respectfully. We ask you to hit that subscribe button to help us keep this going. And if you really like some detailed guidance on how to find them confirm true love, come and visit us at stepstofindtruelove.com. That's www.stepstofindtruelove.com blessings to you.